Grief is the emotion that allows us to say good-bye when we aren't ready. It's a vital part of the human experience that is often ignored and avoided. No one likes the pain that accompanies the grieving process. Yet once we are done, we are empty vessels, ready to be filled with something grander than was there before.
Years ago I was told the importance of grieving every loss we experience-even the loss of a contact! I thought that was rather trivial at the time. However, today I'm grieving the loss of a television of all things. This is really a humbling experience for me. I don't like grieving, and I sure don't like grieving over a television. I am feeling way too human--no I'm feeling down-right childish!
The television wasn't mine. I was using it until my sister wanted it back. (Yesterday she wanted it back!) But it was part of the little corner I've set up for myself in the one room that is the only space in the world that is totally mine. It was a small television and fit perfectly in my little work corner I've arranged in my room. It's not even that I watched it that often or that there isn't another television set in the house. But it was part of my little corner where I could flip it on whenever I wanted and watch whatever I liked at a decibel level that doesn't damage my eardrums! (For the record, there is more noise in a house with two octagenarians than in a house full of teenagers!)
I knew there had to be more to this reaction than just the loss of a television set. I've never had a problem manifesting televisions in my life-at one time I had four in my home. So why was I having such a terrible time with this loss?
Very often when doing healing work with clients, they apologize to me when their tears begin to flow. I always tell them they never have to apologize for crying in session with me. That if there are tears now, they haven't cried the tears they need to in order to complete their grieving process. Not that I've been crying about the television--but I have been dealing with a terrible sense of loss. Looking back over the last couple of years, sadness does wash over me. There has been a lot of loss-the business where I worked, my home, my youngest child moving 1,000 miles away to go to school... Could it be that I-the one who insists that her clients walk through the grieving process-have failed to take time to grieve myself?
This has been a very humbling experience for me. I've had to admit to my own failure and to my own humanness. I've had to open myself up to emotions that I thought I'd already processed. I'm opening myself to fully grieve the losses and release what was left of the life I had before. I'm really glad to say good-bye to that little television-it wasn't mine, anyway. And I'm open and willing to fully experience-Good Grief!
The more we loose the closer we come to finding loss is illusion. God dances with God
ReplyDelete" eternally "
in the NOW moment.
In Lak' esh, my brother, spirit speaks...