Heyoeka

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Ever since I was a little girl, I've had the ability to listen to opposing sides of an argument, see the validity in each, and acknowledge their truth. At the time, I thought that for some reason I had no back bone-why couldn't I listen to these opposing sides, determine which was true and take a stand? I felt many times as if I was being tossed around on a stormy sea with no rudder!

Even as an adult I've dealt with this "problem." My children often called me when they were younger to complain about one of their siblings or their father. I would listen to the one with whom I was speaking, feeling all of his or her feelings, and become irate toward whichever other had caused these feelings of hurt and anger in them. Of course, the other would then call and tell me his or her side. I quickly learned that the stories I heard from each differed greatly, even to the point of sounding like a totally different set of circumstances! I was able once I figured this out to allow each one to speak their piece and leave them to work out their differences on their own. Until I came to that conclusion, I spent many miserable hours trying to figure out how to fix the situations.

We are now entering a new age when polar opposites are meeting for the purpose of creating a New Earth. People of differing backgrounds, beliefs and opinions are being called upon to come together to work for the good of the entire planet. There is a Lakota term, heyoeka, which means "the other." Any person, place, thing, situation-or voice in our head-that expresses differently than we do becomes "the other."

It has been customary to ignore or suppress "the other" in the past. When "the other" expresses itself, it's an uncomfortable feeling. Yet suppressing this expression, whether it comes from within ourselves or without, only gives it strength. It will keep coming up in bigger and bolder ways until we allow it to express fully. Listening to "the other" and allowing it to express doesn't mean we are going to act on that voice. Listening with an open heart without judgment, however, often reveals new or better ways to deal with a situation. A good question to ask yourself if you are feeling uncomfortable with what "the other" is saying is "why is this making me feel uncomfortable?" Once that question is answered, feelings of unease often disappear and we are free to work toward resolution in cooperation with "the other."

So often the voices of "the other" only want to be heard-and can handle being told "no." My elderly father has had to be in and out of the hospital several times over the last year and a half. Each time he moaned and groaned-okay, he bitched about it. But after being heard, he went ahead and did what the health care professionals recommended. All he needed was to be heard and acknowledged.

Working with hoyoeka provides the perfect tension between opposites to hold things together. May we be willing to give "the other" the chance to express itself to us and may we work toward bringing those opposites together to create the New Earth!

Namaste!